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Marriage Does Matter

By James E. Sheridan
©2003, All Rights Reserved

Marriage does matter. That’s why Marriages That Work will be presenting articles on various subjects related to marriage, including: Why marriage is important; tips to help strengthen your marriage; things to do before you marry to increase your chances of success; how to strengthen step-families; things couples should consider before marrying into a step-family; ideas to improve your sex life (... Yes, Martha, the newspaper is going to talk about sex ...!); ideas for empty nesters to add some zing now that the kids are gone and other related subjects.

Marriages That Work will be writing these articles because the worn out, half truth that marriage is "just a sheet of paper" has been completely discredited. According to Dr. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago both men and women who are married live longer than those who are divorced or never married. Likewise, children raised by their married parents are less likely to drop out of school and are less involved in drug and alcohol than children in single parent families. Men who are married tend to earn more money than those who are not, even when they have the same education and experience on the job. The Heritage Foundation, in Washington, D.C., has reported that poverty levels for both women and children are markedly lower when the woman is married to the father of the children. Moreover, women in cohabiting relationships are three times more likely to suffer from domestic violence than women who are married.

A report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in December, 2004, also notes the health benefits of marriage. For example, married adults are less likely than other adults to be in fair or poor health, to suffer from health conditions such as headaches and serious psychological distress, or to smoke, drink heavily or be physically inactive.

The good news is that the vast majority of Americans wish to be in a healthy, lifelong marriage. The bad news is that many well intended people choose to cohabitate before they marry, although cohabitation is associated with higher rates of relationship failure. A 2002 study from The National Marriage Project, Rutgers University, indicates that of couples who live together before marriage only 55% will marry and only 12% will still be married a decade later. The break up rate for all first marriages is high, at about 45% to 50 %, but much lower than for those who have lived together before marriage. The other bad news is that the divorce rate, although falling slightly, is also much higher than is justified by the percentage of marriages that are truly dysfunctional.

The vast majority of people who live together before marriage and the people who divorce, whether they lived together or not, are not "bad people." It’s just that bad things seem to happen to them and their children far more often than for those who did not live together before marriage or do not divorce.

Dr. Phil recently commented in The Oprah Magazine (July, 2003) that "We quit marriage in America too soon. Turn over every stone, investigate every potential avenue of rehabilitation before you throw in the towel." Marriages That Work wants to suggest some proven avenues of rehabilitation and tips on how to avoid ever getting to the point that you would like to quit your marriage in the first place. The information is available. Our mission is to advocate and strengthen marriage through education. Through these articles we hope to get practical information to couples that they can use to avoid bad relationships, strengthen weak marriages and to make good marriages better.